the ice cracked..

lucy aharish and tzahi halevy got married..

after hiding their love for so long - they finally tied the knot.. mazal tov to two wonderful media personalities for their love and perseverance.. for smashing the illusion that any country is able to contain separate peoples and for reminding us of the essence of life..

it was obvious that the event would grad more attention than probably any other wedding this decade and i am encouraged that for every negative talkback there appears to be a tsunami of supporters.. thank you for unveiling the more current and more compassionate side of our nation - including its jews and arabs..

at the end of the day - anyone who cares about religion should remember that all "sides" are praying to the same god.. and love is love is love..

my one wish for them is that their notoriety not overtake their intimacy and not shape their shared destiny.. may people remember that they are just a couple and that they never signed up for a reality tv wedding.. their life is their business and so is their love..

watching from afar i see pawns..

i have not been living in the middle east for some time - although unfortunate circumstances have required that i arrive relatively frequently..

i see the violence bubbling and i see peoples being politically manipulated but i also revel in the resilience.. whether its the thriving israeli economy that just seems to plow through every storm or its the incredible people of gaza and syria persevering through unbelievable misery and although drowning in chaos still holding on to that glimmer of a brighter future..

on all my flights back to israel i have had conversations with israeli arabs.. yes i have decided to call them that recognising that some might specify a different identity if ask eg palestinian citizens of israel etc but really.. they are israeli arabs.. a different kettle of fish living a different life with a different mentality and a different destiny and a different world view.. some have been villagers and some hitech workers.. some have been house wives and others doctors.. all have been nice to me even though i am clearly a - wait for it - israeli j e w.. yes nice to me.. yes about me being jewish..

two old ladies i met knew friends of mine from yaffo.. we laughed the whole way to israel together.. i helped them drag their wheel-less bags down long airport thoroughfares.. they rewarded me with blessings and tales of their journey to morocco in a group of 30 israeli jews and stories of their acceptance within the group notwithstanding their head cover dress or loyalty to their heritage..

not that an arab should need to judaise to be treated as an integral part of society but in the past those were the accusations against publicised instances of arabs (especially muslims) who decided to "fit in"..

i have said this for a while - but i think the arab spring made many people wake up or at least begin to wake up..

(a) life in israel for an arab is incredibly free even with all the racism and stereotypes - we have arabs in all ranks of society from mayors through to members of parliament through to media stars and celebrities

(b) arabs in israel - despite their collective resistance - are largely a peaceful minority who if given half the chance would probably deliver the highest standards of citizenship possible and they should be treated with less blind suspicion and xenophobia because they are not outsiders no matter how you slice the pie..

i believe that reality tv did wonders in making the intimate lives and thoughts of israeli arabs accessible to the mainstream.. some of the first arabs on tv were very westernish and then we got some oriental appearing arabs with gentle views and then we got the hard core opinionated ones.. and you know what? each and every one of them won the heart of the public - just for being whoever they were.. talented individuals interacting..

so maybe it is time to relax the paranoia and make some more concerted efforts to draw the populations closer.. no one is going anywhere (except those of us who have relocated haha) and its time for a peaceful era to kick in..

i believe that greater relations within israels sectors will greatly help israelis to forge trust and act more respectfully towards the folk across the green line..

heres for hoping..

couldnt do it anymore..

as a single man i was tireless.. i was able to rationalise everything that was going on around us and then drown the bad in a surf session..

it was more or less easy..

telaviv is a great town - so much is happening there - in spite of everything.. and there are so many things that need to be spited..

and telaviv does it.. sticks a finger up to all of those things and blows raspberries in their ugly faces and gets on with trying to be a mini city..

but even this bubble doesnt have an impenetrable surface and the illusion of isolation no longer achieves that suspense of belief as soon as your kids arrive into your life..

in the beginning it was paradoxically some kind of bliss.. i lathered my soul with my daughter's integration into a jewish and arab microcosm.. xmas trees excited her.. mohammad was the name of the funniest kid she knew with long hair and an enviable ponytail.. until this day she asks for a mohammad ponytail even though i dare guess that the kid has long been forgotten otherwise..

she was a part of something special.. i bragged about it a lot.. sullying statuses with arguments as to who was more delusional and defending my views at the cost of friendships diluted by time and on FB life support..

but as the wars broke out - one after the other - and as the nightmares piled on - steeling my nights and offering me a crash self-applied course in post traumatic stress disorder - i began to fear for the minds of my kids.. how long would it take them until they started categorising people like a filing cabinet.. how long would it take them before hamas and hizballa and daesh and whoever became their boogymonsters..

so we left.. i dont know how long for.. and i dont know what the roadmap is.. but i had to make sure they grew up without the paranoia.. that moment when israelis and arabs say to you you dont understand you grew up elsewhere thats what i wanted them to have.. the clarity of elsewhere..

i know i havent written for a long time anyway but this venture may well rob me of my sense of part ownership over this dispute - maybe thats what i wanted.. so these may be my parting words from peace blogging..

and in case  they are i wish us all peace shalom salaam and all things in between..

if there is one thing i have learned over time it is that peace is more than just the absence of war.. it is not a dichotomous option simply to be elected and then acted up but rather a choice that requires social construction..

putting down guns may deliver a cease fire like the one we have with egypt and jordan but peace is much more than that.. and in turn can only survive if people go out of there way to humanise the other.. the little known latent perk is that doing so is so much fun :)

eat cake..

my daughter had her birthday last week.. we celebrated in the park in yaffo.. her kindi is multicultural anyway.. we have mostly jews in her group but also christian and muslim arabs | refugees | foreign workers | interfaith families | cross-cultural families and all continents are represented..

it was a hot steamy afternoon.. the breeze was cruelly scorching.. but we soldiered on.. it had to happen.. so off to the park we went counting down two hours of open air sauna conditions..

the cake - the blood sugar spiking crescendo - was the tipping point - people just started to pour home as their sleeves were saturated with forehead juice.. and we were left with a 2/3s full tray..

an arab clan just near us was busy debating where they would eat and i interjected with the offering of the left over chocolate cake..

they blessed us and adopted the carb..

only 4 dead..

there was a terrorist attack in telaviv last night.. 4 innocent civilians dead and 16 wounded.. it rarely settles on the original count.. typically that number grows as some of the wounded pass away.

the vicious terrorist attack happened right under my office at the sarona market.. the place i have most of my lunches at and dinner probably once a week.. so yes it could have been me..

i had a relatively late evening at work yesterday.. i knew my girls had already eaten and randomly decided to go home without grabbing dinner first.. at the sarona market..

imagine yourself at the indian food market in singapore having dinner with your family.. or in china town in sydney at golden century.. or in the collective dining area of the timeout market of lisbon.. or at whatever trendy eating precinct you might go to in your home town..

now 4 people - people who had full lives just like yours are gone.. and 16 others are dealing with their wounds.. seems like a terrible movie..

telaviv is normally a sunny city oscillating between warm and scorching inside and out.. but today clouds flew at half sky and an apologetic sea breeze randomly pushed me on my bicycle to work.. no one was smiling..

telavivians were wearing their habitual morning after face - that suspicious airport security look they don the morning after a terrorist attack takes place.. as if their supposedly quick instincts will save them from the next arbitrary murderous insanity that some self appointed terrorist decides to bestow upon us..

as i walked past a construction site i felt that morning after expression impose itself upon my features with my eyes suddenly condensing into a cautious squint..

and then i remembered - that was the war - that was the real battle.. turning people that ordinarily love everyone around them to haters and agents of panic.. so tired of fighting the urge.. im so drained from this rubbish.. last night should not have happened.. it simply should not have..

we have a new minister of defence.. avigdor is a hawk (oddly) with no military experience.. whats going to happen now? will all palestinians be under curfew for ramadan? will we put up some more roadblocks? will we kill some? will we block more kids going to school? will they then send more killers to our towns? what brilliant bicep exposing maneuvers are we about to pull? anyone ever think that maybe peace might be a worthy investment?

people complain that our peace with egypt is a "cold peace".. are you guys nuts?!?!?!?!? your're waiting for hugs and kisses?? cant we just end the madness first and then seek affection in other pastures..

separated..

we all knew it would happen..
its the essential ingredient to this madness..
but last night it finally did..
in a fierce dispute while watching the news sanity left the house completely defeated and paranoia slept diagonally across the bed..

i used to require my kids to let me walk on the road side of the footpath to buffer their access - theyre only little..
now i do it out of concern that a terrorist might purposely run us over - this way (i delude myself) i can try to push them out of harms way if i have to..
i used to look both ways before crossing the road..
now im looking all around even while sitting..

dropping off the girls used to be a fun a happy event..
now its filtered by locked gates and security codes..
now its burdened by excessive precaution and concern..
now its a chore that torments me completely - is it really irresponsible to walk the 700m that we need to walk? does it really make sense to drive?

on my way home - i walked past a fence..
i imagined climbing up it quickly if any car chose to aim my way..
i used to love the noise and clamour of the markets in the morning..
now all i hear is the crickets - i didnt know we had any in yaffo.. since when do markets have crickets..

watching the hollow alleyways..
i try to convince myself that its just early..
noting the smile free faces drive past..
i tell myself those people are just tired..

why is everyone listening to the news so loudly..
back at home i can hear a radio outside even through my tripple glazed windows..
7 dead.. so and so wounded.. the stats begin to blur..
as paranoia makes itself comfortable..

its feels like this time sanity has left for good..

hebrew and arabic juxtaposed..

all we here these days is arabs yelling allahu akbar and jews screaming that a terrorist attack has occurred.. hebrew and arabic should really however sound more like this when the two languages are juxtaposed..

the cage..

WARNING: Graphic contentThis morning, a terrorist went on a violent rampage in Jerusalem with a vehicle and a butcher's knife. This is the danger we face. This is the result of Palestinian incitement.
Posted by Israel Defense Forces on Tuesday, 13 October 2015

i cant even begin to imagine the level of insanity that leads someone to run over innocent people.. and then for their leaders to have the audacity to say that theyre not against us - its just that they don't like the government.. like running over someone and stabbing someone else afterwards is going to change the government.. what a load of rubbish.. the palestinians will no doubt show this video as jewish terror of an innocent driver who simply lost control of his car and innocently repeatedly stabbed some guy who must have been the malicious jew who distracted him from focusing on the road.. or something like that..

                  *                  *                  *                  *                  *

today i walked across the almost completely dormant flea markets to pick up our girls who go to kindy just over the other side of the markets with a metal bar that i conveniently tucked into the fold of the stroller's awning.. i appointed it to be our defender in case we were attacked by a terrorist.. feels odd even typing it..

while picking them up i saw all the cute kids that share the day with each of our daughters and their lovely parents.. most jewish but quite a few arabs too.. our daughters dont know what jew and arab means yet - they play with whoever is funniest that day.. yaffo is wonderfully mixed that way which is why we like living here.. a new immigrant who didn't speak Hebrew approached me as we were leaving to find out how to register her daughter at that daycare centre.. she looked around and lowered her voice and whispered: "do arabs send their kids here?"

i told her that some did but assured her that everyone was really nice.. i was offended by her question instinctively but i assumed she was simply ignorant of our tradition of co-existence.. i gave her all the info she needed and then i left..

as we walked home i held up the usual chit chat with the girls - you know - look at the cat look at the bird stop at the kerb look where youre going.. but my eyes were constantly looking around for suspicious people.. and my hand was ready to grab the bar in defence..

there was one suspicious person who walked past oddly i thought - as i mentally clung on to the stereotypical nuances that differentiate jews and arabs in Israel with my hand poised to clutch the bar and swing at what might be a knife if i had to.. but of course that scenario never matured into anything beyond my newfound torment..

and here is the most horrible part of terror - youre chances of dying constantly remain below that of a pedestrian being involved in an innocent car accident (note my choice of words) in a western country.. the potential of which any of us would discard on a daily basis without hesitation.. but something about the evil of terror makes it so absorbing that suddenly 100s of merchants in one of telaviv's finest retail villages are stranded without patrons and they will struggle to pay bills and wages this month and it doesn't matter that the risk is essentially low.. suddenly a whole community is brought to a stand still.. suddenly a whole country shuts down..

in Israel we have a long dry summer every year - and every first rain  people die on the roads like human sacrifices to the incoming winter.. death is a certainty on the roads on those days and it is unavoidable.. or so it seems.. and yet no one stops shopping or going out or driving..

but terror doesn't just cage you in physically - it cages you mentally with all rationalisation set aside..

it is really so sad.. people dying and people bleeding and people living in fear and next people will go hungry and there is always the risk that while in the cage of this insanity people get so caught up in the cycle that they dont even really know why its happening - theyre simply upholding their so called right to react to the injustice they perceive was inflicted upon them..

the fortress dillusion..

many moons ago when i was a law student basking under the sun of far away lands - a dorm neighbour cast his opinion lightly about how Israelis suffer from a fortress mentality.. it was clearly a statement that carried negativity.. it was made of criticism and judgment.. even a bit of a mockery.. and it disturbed me..

and i insisted he was wrong.. describing us more like a kumbaya humming middle eastern Jamaica - island style.. what fortress..

but - now as an adult - with a family and two little girls - i couldn't agree more.. we are so heavily and tightly wrapped in the fabric of our walls and so strangled by our mental mote that nothing could be further from the truth..

we follow closely as town after syrian town is blown away.. we watch the jittery turks decide to help then not help and then yes help their terrorised neighbours.. we see egypt beg to persuade the west that 'normal' life is back on track.. digging a whole new canal because normal people dig canals.. who even cares about Iraq anymore when isis can slaughter people just about anywhere..

except for us..

here is Israel we are drunk from our false sense of security.. completely convinced that our unrivalled military edge keeps us leagues ahead of our psychotic neighbours almost organically.. the fact that our borders are shockingly porous and have flimsy fences that any private school would demand to reinforce doesn't shake us into seeing the truth..

saudi arabia has denounced the impending deal with iran (who is to terror what aviva is to tennis).. it tickles us that an arab country can openly push our agenda and even threaten to attack iran.. but not enough to move forward and lower our virtual walls and negotiate collective peace..

because we are a fortress nation.. and we like it that way..

all sarcasm aside.. i wish and hope that the violence that is sweeping our region end soon.. i wish and hope that no more people be murdered in the name of any ideology and that tonight the people of the middle east sleep safely..

good night..

unveiling the veiled europe..

i don't mean to make it sound like this post is at all about the veil.. because it isn't.. i don't think this has anything to do with religious custom - at least not in its purest form ie without the influence of politics and radicalism.. because we know that when you mix faith with extremism you don't get religion but rather a cult effect and that's a different story..

in event you needn't be a genius to see that Europe has changed.. like someone who neglected their own democratic diet for decades without any check ups it has suddenly woken up to discover that its freedom of speech has been botched.. its values constrained and its future dimmed..

i remember a different Europe.. when was a kid it was a continent associated with optimism.. with progress.. it was the humble alternative to the American inyourface-ism..

i remember once making a list of dozens of European towns - quite random ones - that i hoped to one day visit - either by cycling across the continent or maybe even hiking..

however the terrorist attacks in paris this past week certainly blew away the veil.. people all over the world stunned like mullets have been left to wonder what remains of Europe.. Germany awash with intense protests harnessed by heavy right wingers to revive old and terrifying agenda as French protesters wave pens in squares to declare their undying loyalty to their liberties.. neither strategies seem to be a genuine strategic response to the new threats that al Qaida and gang have instigated..

france now understands the limits of its freedom of speech one cleric said.. what a chilling notion..

anyway - with this in mind - we went up north this weekend to try and catch some snow time with the kids.. nearing their midday feed we pulled into an arab owned shopping strip and the hostess who seated us was very nice..

i asked her (donning her hijab) whether there was still much snow in the area and she said we should try tzfat (~20 minutes further north).. she said she studied there and that the college was shut due to the storm.. i was quite sure it was a medical college so i asked her if she was studying to become a doctor and she corrected me - it was Hebrew literature she was studying..

what?

yeah - she said she really liked it - turned out she really liked lea Goldberg..

i wished her good luck as we left.. how wonderful.. how natural.. i was almost pissed off that i was surprised..

media scaremongering?? never..

we were just on holidays in Europe and I have to say I didn't feel so hated..

so thank you media for making me feel like I would be stampeded with angry hoards of Palestinian supporters who would trample me indiscriminately as I try to cross a street - but except for one little british girl who ran away after trying to befriend my daughter as soon as she heard that we were Israeli - people were overwhelmingly nice and warm and friendly..

frankly - it didn't suck to be us at all..

the part that did suck was reading the news about Israel as the ceasefire gave way and imagining the state of our relatives.. but what to do - this is not so different from being home and doing the same..

the negotiation farce..

i get it that negotiating with terrorists is bad..

(a) it discouages the moderates.. rather than rewarding them for being cooperative - they see how violence is the only language we understand..

(b) it empowers the extremists.. the palestinian public is likely to view hamas as more effective than abbas if we give in to hamas' demands while we keep on ignoring abbas. and the palestinian authority..

(c) it sets a bad precedent.. copycat violence and terror may well follow when other groups start to view us a societ in capitulation..

(d) it benefits those that want to kill you..

now i understand good and well for these very reasons why we have avoided negotiating with hamas for so long.. it doesnt help that hamas' charter expressly includes the destruction of israel - an ambition that hamas plays out on a daily basis..

but what i dont understand is why our government needs to lie about it.. we have negotiated with hamas so many times.. whether it be previous ceasefire attempts following previous conflict breakouts or whether in connection with the release of gilad shalit..

so why did so many palestinians and israelis need to die and so many houses be destroyed and so many people rendered homeless if we could have just sat down for a chat and solved things.. why did we need an escalation that would force our respective governments to demontrate unachievable achievements when they could have quietly progressed common interests without the public following their every move as it seeks to avert a sense of meaningless loss of life..

my point is - if youre doing it anyway - then just do it.. and do it properly.. and get the best and most peaceful outcome you can for our nations.. so we can stop apologising for our existence and for the low number of israeli casulaties and the gazan deaths for which we blame hamas and they blame us.. who needs this nonsense..

and so we set sail..

the sails are up.. everything is running fine on board.. the mobile island of telaviv has once again set sail and left the shores of israel.. gaza and the israeli towns around couldnt feel further away.. they may as well be somewhere on another planet where little purple people eat little star shaped purple things..

the news is again no longer about us.. we watch it like everyone else - only that unlike everyone else - we are only a few dozen kms away.. its now about them.. and they dont really exist - theyre news people.. somewhere on another planet where little purple news people cry about purple newsy things.. while telavivs restaurants are full again and beaches overflowing..

of course i am relieved that the sirens in telaviv have gone quiet.. this summer feels truncated as we enter a state of denial regarding the past 4+ weeks and reattach the present to the time continuum somewhere just before the war commenced.. deleting the war from our minds.. permanently empty trash..

the death toll in gaza has now fully morphed into a stat.. no one really died.. its just a number near 2000 that died.. so now when we count we can skip that number - dont worry our computers and gadgets as they will do it automatically.. who ever counts that high anyway - you wont even notice that the number has gone.. so we dont need to feel guilty for not grieving..

we now await the demand for inquiries which will probably only be launched once all battle embers are out.. almost makes me wonder if the anticipation itself is prolonging the smouldering and thus allowing other developments to supersede our prevalence such as isis kidnapping hundreds of people in northern iraq or perhaps the next syrian massacre - the ebola breakout in the ivory coast works too - there is even an israeli dr who went to help = good pr for our humanitarian side.. but it would be cynical of me to say that the lack of finality is anyway supporting any political cause.. so im trying to refrain..

when the reports end up being issued we too will relate to them as a foreign nation.. telaviv will cast its judgment between having its soup and its schnitzel during one of its dinners and by desert move on to something more - how do you say - happening maybe..

the breeze is pleasant and there are no clouds on the horizon.. hoping for calm seas ahead..
 

mira awad (arab) and some musicians (jewish) making some mellow sounds that fuse arabic vocals with some worldy sounds - i felt like posting it right here..

Our relationship is a blood connection,
a bleeding connection,
a philosophical bleeding,
a bleeding with aesthetic measures.
Our relationship is distance, is intimacy,...
is contradictions,
contradictions that make me find aesthetics in a bleeding.

separation anxiety..

everyone knew the ceasefire would crash today because hamas told us so.. so many times.. they promised.. how odd is that..

it didn't stop us from ignoring its crash..

we set off further north to a little town that we love on the carmel mountain (not more than a long hill) and walked around with the girls.. on the way to the car we saw a little café/restaurant owned by a winery called tishbi.. it was nothing short of amazing.. one of those unforgettable lunch spots that you can only find by perfect accident..

imagine a pizza with crust thin enough not to take over the flavours but thick enough to remind you that youre not just eating toppings.. with a bounty of cheese that is carefully not overdone.. drizzled in olive oil with anchovies loosely scattered and a handful of juicy calamata olives sitting amongst a couple of basil leaves.. only now imagine it as perfect.. over-dramatized? maybe..

we also had a salad that for the first time impressed me more than the salad at entrecote in paris.. and that is saying something..

we drove home through the countryside.. skimming through towns like pardes hanna and benyamina.. suddenly feeling like we could be anywhere..

the radio was trying to haunt us with warnings and reminders of how to seek shelter while driving if a siren is sounded.. it was almost funny how they promised that they would let us know if a siren was sounded to make sure we remained tuned in.. but even though the radio was on - we tuned out..

the Israeli tourism board has been feverishly working overtime to urgently produce massive billboards encouraging us to get back to our lives and to stay local for our holidays and help the troubled businesses in the south..

so hamas - you might take away our ceasefire - you might decide to renew your rocket fire and who knows - we might even decide to fire back (for which we undoubtedly will be once again squarely blamed by everyone - as usual).. but i think you have exhausted our panic and exhausted our patience for safety rooms..

somehow i hope (for the sake more of the gazans than anyone else) that this is just your childish way of showing us that you don't like packing up your toys even when game time is over.. now please put down the joystick - go to your families - hug each of them - apologise for these deadly antics and start working to secure a life for each.. ruining ours has not succeeded.. we're here to stay..

here today there tomorrow..

eight years ago when i first surfed portugal a bunch of belgians told me how they had fled the big city.. how the ballooning islamification had driven them to the countryside and how they would never return to the city.. one of them had left the country for that very reason.. i was in shock.. but they had heavy predictions for belgium that to me seemed over the top and exaggerated..

watching this video now makes me cringe.. belgium of all places was nation that knew how to merge two peoples.. french speaking and flemmish got along to create an incredible little hub.. they of all people know how to get along.. maybe to a fault..

how do you feel about this.. how do you feel about radical islam pushing aside moderate islam in western europe and growing to the extent that very soon a western european country may face sharia law.. in which case belgium may have to be excluded from the EU.. belgium.. yes the country of castles and international organisations.. chocolate.. and burqas and niqabs and beards and hidden women and honour killings and who knows maybe jihad..

and then what.. will belgium try to liberate the muslims of france? will they send rockets? what next guys and gals..

playing chicken..

just as we had started to get used to a bit of quiet the news reports are full of hamas threats of the conflict reigniting tomorrow.. 

hamas is apparently saying that they wont back down until all their demands are met.. they want more war in the meantime..

rather than approaching the UN or the security council or NGOs or whatever to push their demands forward - they somehow have reached the conclusion that rockets might help.. or maybe its the rockets in combination with the international pressure that will result from israel defending itself from those rockets..

i have said this before but gazans need to come to the table to shake this off.. and the palestinians need to decide.. is gaza its own thing and if so - then gaza needs to take responsibility - or - is gaza part of the palestinian entity in which case the PA needs to start issuing clearer messages rather than sharing a unity government..

 

it might even be over..

i have already started to dream of sirens at night.. i knew this would happen..

i still find myself continuing to choose cautionary driving routes as a matter of habit even though it takes me longer to get to work and home..

i have been left with so many questions and so few answers..

we really don't know whats going on..

i hope this never happens again..

thank you to all those who followed my blog and to all those who offered on going support..

in a few weeks this will all seem like old news.. for hundreds of thousands of gazans and israelis who live close to the border and do not necessarily feel like their concerns have been addressed - we (in telaviv) will soon appear indifferent and detached..

may we all heal and may we finally solve our differences..

national dehydration..

are we in are we out? who knows.. its all become quite unclear.. are we negotiating are we not? also unclear.. will there be more sirens? who knows.. are we satisfied that objectives were achieved? maybe in telaviv certainly not in the israeli towns around gaza.. do we have the energy for a peace deal now and would be be able to trust it? who knows..

and the dead.. how many are there? no really.. how many?? yes please include the severely wounded that will be declared dead in a week or two.. i just want to know.. so i can get my guilt and grief ledger in order.. no not just on our side.. give the true and ugly details of how many palestinians were killed too.. because yes it does matter.. i dont care how rotten the hamas are and it is irrelevant whether or not we can justify it under international law.. since when did international law hug people people who lost their kids or quench the pain of a loved one or slithers of their body being buried??

and what on earth happened to our abducted soldiers? i dont get it.. we suddenly figured out that there were dead and not adbucted?

i think the smoke screens and protests and media carnage and hatred frenzy around the world has left us a bit confused.. i dont even know what to do with all the hatred.. paris and london never felt further away.. and celebrities - please stop talking about topics you know nothing about.. seriously.. not just those who hate us - those who love us (supposedly) too - its stomach turning to hear everyone's ignorance echo through the web..

i know that the justification for war often gets blended into a cocktail with the humanitarian sides.. sometimes the humanitarian argument (why sometimes - always) is used against us.. ie it is not humantiarian of us to defend ourselves and to kill palestinians in doing so because not enough of us have died.. and other times the duty to defend our citizens is used against the palestinians such that no matter how many of them die its justified as long as we are busy attempting to defend our own.. put in such terms - is it so hard to see that either argument can easily be taken to an extreme? where did all the pragmatic people go?? come back.. we need you to help us push aside the nonsense and allow reason to surface..

as individuals - palestinians and israelis - how do we justify our national loyalty if what defines it right now is the centrality of a mass hatred that we either emit from our collective essence or alternatively suffer collectively from others?? cant we offer ourselves any better fate??

we have designed starwars like defence systems.. you have built tunnel systems that would make us proud in telaviv if only they had an underground.. :) we have both weathered so much and invested so much in this hatred.. imagine a world in which we invested in absolutely anything else.. how amazing could that be..

war filtration..

to the far left you see a church spire and then a bit to its right a mosque's minaret.. synagogues don't have tall features normally so you cant see the synagogues around them.. but they coexist.. this is yaffo.. gaza used to be like this.. my friends parents used to go there for cheap grocery shopping and to enjoy the beach.. the hatred was not always there..

many (not all) of my arab friends.. specifically muslims - not my middle eastern christian friends (some by the way refuse to be called arab and insist that they are Israeli christians) are now fully recruited into the hatescape.. this has resulted in a defriending process which is nothing short of a broad separation of forces.. people who had built bridges of hope with me since the lebanon war in 2006.. people I had never met.. people I had met regularly.. people I had only scarcely known.. people I had been introduced to and formed connections with online.. people i had camped with in the desert.. people i had broken bread with on the shores of the deadsea on crispy winter nights overlooking the hill top lights of Jordan.. people i had harmoniously beaten drums of friendship with around campfires.. people i hosted in my house and who had invited me to theirs.. people who for years had fully known my opinions and i theirs..

as I said - those who really love peace have not moved an inch.. they don't engage in war related antagonism but rather accept that each of us has his or her own pain and lets the other be..

the war is reaching a certain crescendo and especially now that an israeli soldier appears to actually have been abducted by hamas and we (as a nation) are preparing for another collective scar.. a wound that will remain ajar for years and ultimately only be healed by Israel releasing hundreds of hamas murderers such that the bleeding wont really ever end.. on the one hand I think we are sick of this.. we hear that the army has identified most of the tunnels and has been avidly working to destroy them (cant help but think of all that wasted money effort and soul).. and yet today despite initial hopes for a quiet weekend at 6am a very long siren was sounded over telaviv and again my wife and i shuffled half shut eyed to our safe room trying not to wake the girls and hugged it out before heading back to bed..

in theory unless a real ceasefire is reached this could go on forever.. hamas could continue raining this safety nuisance upon us and the world including ban ki moon and our best friend's president mr Obama (did I mention that I haven't liked him for a long time?) will point their heavy fingers at us staring at us in blame..

i mean for goodness' sake.. a foreign journalist watches rockets being shot at us from a hospital and while reporting it - urges for us not to use her report for our own purposes.. what is up with that.. the world needs to know.. but even if it did whod care..

anyway hamas is now fighting in reverse.. it knows we are sick of this and want it over and so its threatening us as it walks backwards that if the ceasefire isn't bilateral it wont be honoured.. like it ever was..

gazans - rise up and end this mess - get rid of your murderous and treacherous leaders who are using you as cannon fodder while they buy fancy houses around the world and watch you starve.. they are billionaires and you are dying of hunger even though the UN has given you billions..

filter them out..

the 6 o clock news - only for the surreal minded..

there i was at work fussing over last minute contracts for the financial quarter and the sirens kicked in.. as if by reflex i ported myself to the nearest security room (doubles as a common tea room) where i have already acquired a regular seat - just next to the microwave..

i placed the habitual call to my wife to see that everyone was fine and safe and my phone was already aflush with sms notifications of the danger from the national service that lets you know if youre at risk..

for the next 12 minutes i directed all overseas colleagues to call me back in 20 minutes and had the same security room chitchat as i always have with my co-refuge seekers..

when i got back to the office - as i was waiting to get on a call i took a look at ynet.co.il that instantly listed all areas affected by the rocket attack - apparently there were several concurrent attacks all over the country.. and listing the damage including the fact that a house was directly hit and its resident wounded..

how insane is that.. all thats missing is some monetised services like 1shekel for your favourite war song.. or 2 shekels for an expedited warning  ~5 seconds earlier.. or perhaps a nice cold beer to pass the time in the security room delivery service..

anyway the good news is that even under so many attacks - with everyone heeding the warnings - so little injury is caused..

many people are talking about the overwhelming sense of solidarity in this country right now.. i have to be honest.. i really struggle to celebrate it.. it really doesnt feel like the issue to me.. that everyone supposedly is getting along just because we're detonating gaza.. yet it is incredible how coordinated and oiled we are.. after decades of dealing with armed conflict.. i would like to wish that one day we lose the need for this skill of ours..