the devil within..

i remember as a child feeling very financially secure.. i remember speaking to my best friend about that feeling and him insisting that you could never tell what would ruin your family's stability.. so i put forward my business case to him and explained why i thought it was infallable.. years later my mother separated from my stepfather and in the midst suffered a significant financial downgrading.. it was then that i discovered the devil within in its most vicious form..

suddenly a unit that had appeared to be blessed by love for years had turned into an unruly battleground for two titans.. trust disappeared in seconds and alienation followed moments after the most meaningful truce arrived.. i havent seen or heard from my former stepfather in 14 years.. i doubt our paths will ever cross again.. and thats fine.. because weve moved on and regained our dignity and established whole lives since..

but then i take the principle of the devil within - that sheer force contained so powerfully by a stable union that once unleashed wreaks damage you couldnt dream of and i look at my less than stable country..

we were smug when the arab states fell apart allowing democratic buds to emerge (lets not enter into a discussion now on how quickly they were trodden on to death but) we were arrogant and self assured.. and yet now we are starting to see what the rest of the world could blatantly see long ago much to our spite.. we see ourselves as a violent disrespectful society that not only is prepared to dominate another people but also to oppress its women and canibalise its own when they disagree with the most vehement voice..

over the last few days the incidents of price tag in israeli society - more than anything - have shown us that our cohesion is not even convincing us anymore..

i despise the fact that a google search of the term price tag reveals the wiki link of israeli acts of intimidation and reprisal as its third choice.. this shows me something about where this term is going in the world's conscience and clarifies to me that my fears are far from being just my own..

another childhood memory is the advertisements on tv for cheap ideallyc housing in the west bank.. those ads made me fall in love with those beautiful rolling hills.. i remember izhak shamir (the prime minister back then) advocating the estalishment of a jewish settlement adjacent to every arab town.. i remember being persuaded as a youngster that it was right and just.. i recall hearing how cheap those houses were and what a great solution it was for young couples.. i fantasised living there myself one day and sharing the dream.. promises were made.. visions were sold.. people were made to believe that these would be their homes for generations to come and they have become that..

45 years later we have a problem.. we are in a political deadlock with the arab world and our society is crumbling.. israeli society is to my mind the last hope of the jewish people.. many of my jewish friends overseas have "married out" and im not criticising them.. but without a place that serves as our cultural collective reference what will inspire future generations.. what will stop us from rapidly phasing out..

the devil within is active at the moment.. very.. our fragile status quo has been disturbed in many ways due to demographic shifts but also due to government policies of heavy handedly approaching our liberals and taking a very forgiving approach to the more forceful elements in our state.. when the army is at risk of spontaneous and unprovoked attacks from its own people someone needs to wake up before we completely chop off the branch that we are sitting on or should i say clinging to for dear life..

hopefully its not too late..