Saturday, July 26, 2014

and this is why we live for now..

the ceasefire appears to have held up and now both sides are considering extending it..

who knows..

no matter how things end up - hamas is already reaping the benefits of its war against us.. the arab street is looking at these inglorious cowards and the audacity of shooting at telaviv as some sort of victory..

soon it will all be over and the attempts by the Israeli army to uproot the daily threat to hundreds of thousands of Israelis will be inevitably condemned as disproportionate and whatever other buzz words the NGOs can come up with.. ultimately commissions and inquiries will be set up (including by us - because 70 years after the holocaust we're still apologising that hitler's work was never completed) and invariably the reports will determine that it wasn't just our fault but the world opinion will remain largely that we viciously and maliciously brutalised gaza for no good reason or alternatively as part of a broader scheme that we have to embezzle gazan offshore gas reserves..

over here we don't know what tomorrow is likely to hold and these days we sometimes don't even know what the next minute will be like.. so we make the most of what we have and we try to live the now..

my wife discovered over the course of the weekend that she has three first cousins who have been posted by the military in gaza due to this war - that she didn't know were there.. one of them is newly married and his wife is pregnant - she reacted badly and is now confined to bed rest as she was experiencing grossly immature contractions..

i decided today to take my daughter to the beach.. the closest one to our house.. she loves it so much.. the water the sand the people the dogs the icy pole man the vibe the air.. don't we all?

at some point a group of hipsters arrived with their balloons and sound system and fed our ears bob marley as they swayed with their beers and bright coloured clothes.. the guys' unshaven faces and the girls' defiantly maintained tans.. vast tattoos channelling fantasy worlds and the odd waft of joint.. my little girl was delighted and ran up to them and stood metres from them in fascination clearly deliberating whether or not it was ok for her dance to their tunes and edge her way into their affection.. her musings conveniently punctuated by the distraction of a small dog running by or another kid with a delightful spade.. she loved running around and splashing and dancing and screaming.. she devoured her siren-cleansing freedom..

i had agreed with my wife that if a siren went off while we were at the beach - after taking shelter - we'd go straight back home.. i wondered what arrangements if any the guys and girls celebrating had made with their loved ones.. and i admired their commitment to life..

naturally any Palestinian friends of mine will instantly think of the little boys who were mistaken for operatives and killed on the beach by the Israeli air force.. a tragedy to every stretch of the imagination.. they naturally will not think about the attempted infiltration to an Israeli beach that happened in tandem by hamas marine commandos that was thwarted and protected countless civilians from slaughter in cold blood..

despite what my Palestinian fiends might think  - we actually haven't been busy planning to attack you - we have been busy practising our defence whether reactive or proactive.. this discipline has allowed us to reach a level of preparedness that is so ridiculously high that every home has become a defence system.. every citizen is ready for your aggression and instantly knows what to do once it escalates because it never really stops..

i know that Israeli politicians have abused your position within our region and also within the context of broader arab politics.. i myself don't agree with a lot of what goes on and i want a two state solution to ultimately take effect - but please don't try to hide behind our defence achievements in order to accuse us of being the aggressor.. the fact that we know how to avert your damage doesn't wash your hands clean.. and doesn't mean that you can attack us unabated for as long as you want with impunity.. i read some of my Palestinian friends' posts on facebook and i want to vomit.. i have had no choice but to defriend a stack of them.. and yet others have shown me responses that the word noble would not suffice to describe..

what id like to hope for this new week is of course that a peaceful resolution be found for this war and that the killing end.. id like for our spirit as jews and Israelis in general to rebound.. i don't want to see shenkin street empty.. i want people partying at the beach.. i want people letting go of fear and appreciating every moment.. and i of course as always wish the same for all people suffering from this violence - including on the gazan side.. may we go back to focusing on living and not on the fear of dying..


  1. I hope you reconsider your defriending of Palestinian friends on facebook if they were really friends before. If acquaintances then let it be, but if truly friends then I urge you to reconsider. Maybe just hide their posts from view for now. I'm not trying to lessen what you are personally going through on your side of this war, but still keep in mind that on their side, they are losing their family, their friends, their homes, everything they have worked for. Blame that on whoever you want, Israel, Hamas, Switzerland, whoever, but keep in mind that no matter who is at fault that a lot of innocent people are losing everything or seeing those they love lose everything and they are in constant fear which will sometimes lead many to say things in anger and frustration that they may or may not mean.
    I've been following your blog for a while. The Palestine and Israel conflict honestly leaves me in internal war with myself if that makes sense. My fiance is originally from Palestine. He has always told me stories of his life there, both good and bad. As a Christian, I was raised to believe that Israel can do no wrong. Hence, the internal conflict :) I trust that man with my life but I am the kind of person who likes to see all sides before I take a position on an issue. When this latest aggression broke out, I wanted to find out more about those who live in Palestine now and those who live in Israel now and what broke my heart was while trying to search for blogs or other social media from the Israeli side, most were filled with extreme hatred and voiced their desire to see every Palestinian wiped off the Earth. I couldn't help but wonder how those feelings made them think they were any different from the people they claim want to see Israel wiped off the Earth. My point is that I finally found your blog and despite a few comments made in anger and frustration at your situation, you seem to have compassion and a real desire to see the innocent people on both sides to be safe so please don't let anyone or anything push you over the edge and fill your heart with hate as well. It's hard to stand up for Israel when all I find are Israeli people filled with the same hate and thirst for blood as those they claim to be so different from.
    If you know of other Israeli blogs like yours that also describe the conflict from Israel's side but without the hate, please share. And if you know those who are spreading the hate filled messages and blaming the innocent victims, rather than simply showing some compassion for them, remind those people that the world isn't following a support gaza trend because terrorism is suddenly cool, but rather the world is reading the messages of hate and prejudice and it makes it hard not to question who the aggressor really is.
    Don't take that as an insult on you, like I said your blog is the only one I've found that has given me the hope that there are still good people in the world. I pray for the innocent on both sides. I wish I could say I had hope for peace but until those on both sides with hate in their hearts can replace that hate with love and understanding and forgiveness, I fear that this same war will keep being repeated. Doesn't either side realize that approaching the same problems the same way will always provide the same results?

    Prayers for you and your loved ones! Keep safe. :)

  2. hello

    thank you for challenging me.. and thank you for your prayers.. our personal ledger at the moment includes one family member killed in combat as well as 3 cousins and 5 friends serving in gaza.. its horrible..

    some of the befriended were long term acquaintances from the peace movement who suddenly turned extremely toxic.. one from the west bank but i dont judge him - the whole gazan branch of his family has been killed.. its a horrible fate and i dont even dare imagine what is going through let alone pretend to understand.. i defriended him as way of ending the torrent of images he was posting and the strong evolution in his opinions which i got tired of withstanding.. another friend lives down the road from me in yaffo - and i know her from the peace movement too.. and she just went insane.. celebrating israeli death with delight.. it was stomach turning..

    ironically most of those i have defriended are not arab or israeli but rather plain westerners who claim to know it all making grossly ignorant statements which accrued until my stupidity damn broke and i couldnt contain it anymore..

    In 2006 the blogosphere was out of control and it felt like the lebanon war was half conducted through but twitter and facebook have not only taken a share of our social communication - but rather they have reduced it to a fragmented and lazy form.. amazing heart twisting bloggers that i knew from across israels many divides have restored to boring one liners in the status.. rendering this thoughtscape void..

    i stopped blogging a few years ago after feeling that i had overtaken the content of my blog and rather than documenting the untold peace stories it became too much about me.. but with every war that breaksout i feel the absence of windows into the simple folks mind and hence i offered mine for viewing..

    your inner war is perfectly understandable.. i face mine every day.. its very "uncool" to be anti war during teh war.. most people keep it hush and only confess to such sentiments after wars end.. at least around here..

    in the past i was very against each war.. but this one smells a bit different.. i have somehow been able to be convinced that the hamas tunnels were not just for ventilation.. they were there to wreak havoc and harvest israeli souls.. it all feels much more existential than ever.. so many former red lines have been blurred and erased.. telaviv is now fair game for anyone with a launcher..

    i have decided this time around not to apologise for us having invested in out protection and not to tolerate our investment being held as a reason for us to be able to sustain aggression indefinitely.. and so my blog voice has become less appeasing..

    but you correctly diagnose me as someone who cares.. and i am certainly not the only one.. whats happening in gaza no matter who is right is totally wrong.. i wish i knew how it could end.. i wish the lives were spared.. not just the physical lives but also the spiritual lives.. defeated people dont do good things..

    i thank you again for welcoming my voice..